WARNING: This is a journal of my 2 day beach trip. If you live for randomness... keep reading. If you enjoy things that you think are too crazy to actually happen...keep reading. Every thing you will read on this blog are actual events, the people are real, the stories are real, and yes we already know we're crazy!
Sunday:
-Leave for beach.
-Wait 30 minutes for the rest of the gang to get there so we can go.
-Stop 3 times on the way to the beach, once to get KFC.
-Stop at WalMart to get some last minute items. EPIC search for cream cheese! I mean every employee in the dairy section was searching for it. Finally found it...Only for my aunt to say, 'Wait, I meant sour cream'.
-Bought ice cream, knowing our room will not be ready when we get there.
-Finally get to Shore Crest, my aunt has a condo timeshare thing going on, every Memorial Day weekend....so the sports bikes are EVERYWHERE!
-The front desk dude tells us our room will not be ready for two more hours. My aunts concern: The ice cream that she knew would melt!! So the dude offers to freeze it in the freezer in the lobby.
Adventure #1: Poolside KFC
Since we had no where else to go, my suggestion was to eat lunch. So we take our our massive picnic size KFC boxes, grab a drink, get ice (from somewhere), walk through the pool area where everyone was playing, and spread out on the picnic table. We had a Sunday dinner right there beside the pool. It was EPIC!
Adventure #2: Undercover Cops
My cousin Shane brings walkie talkies, so we want to test the range of these devices. Shane and I start walking down the beach toward the inlet (about a half mile away) with our electronic devices. I have a walkie talkie in one hand, going "Hey...can you hear me now?...Good" and a phone and a camera in the other. Shane is holding nothing! We looks like cops walking down the beach really, undercover, Myrtle 5.0 we called ourselves. Codenames, PinkLemonade and idk what Shane called himself. Anyways, we're walking going, "Can you hear me now...over" and the life guard and the real police are looking at us like, "do we know you?" We make it to the inlet, and apparrently we pick up on another frequency, cuz there is some womans voice on the other end we do not recognize....
Our room is finally ready:
Adventure #3: Unpacking Extravaganza
Has unpacking your vehicle ever become so dramatic that you have no clue what going to happen next? Yeah, I've been there... So we have tons of stuff and we finally get one of those carts that look like it would be tons of fun to ride on! Ok, now we're packing all of our stuff onto those carts, (food, luggage, groceries, pillows) and my cousin sees his shirts hanging up in our car (b/c they ran out of room in their car) and he goes, 'Hey, I have a shirt just like that, no lie'. Im like, "NO. WAY". He's like, "Yeah, whose are those"....I go, "Uhh, your's" Long story short, he didn't believe me so I preceded to tell him how they got there. Ok, so now we are waiting to go up the elevator and unpack our years worth of stuff, and we drop the drinks twice and these strangers have to help us pick them up. Now we've got everything unpacked we go back to the elevators and here's the HECTOR story.
Adventure #4: The Hector Story
Apparrently all cleaner dudes have a cleaning cart with their name on it. Well, this life size red cart had Hector's name on the side of it. Well, Shane starts going through it looking for stuff. We find some sea turtle magazines, and all of a sudden, Hector himself walks up while Shane's still looking through his cart. Well, Shane never sees him...but Brandi and I do, so we're like, "Shane!" By this time, Hector is right behind him looking to see what he was doing, and I say, "Shane, Hector is standing right behind you dude". Well to cover up, Shane asked for beach towels and Hector was cool, and we were on our way back down the crowded elevator in which I had to stand on the luggage cart in the elevator.
-Later that afternoon, Shane, Brandi, Haleigh, and I went walking on the beach....
Adventure #4.5: Wedding Crashers
As we were walking past the "Valley of the Dead Jellyfish" aka, the sandy shoreline, we came upon this massive group of people wearing pink dresses, and khaki suits. Yeah, you guessed it....we stumbled upon a wedding that was currently taking place. We preceded to take a few wedding pictures, as my cousin pointed out the 3rd groomsman had a wedgie. We begin swimming in the inlet, and finish watching the ceremony from the boogie board.
Adventure #5: It's Called a Surf Board
While Shane is showing us how the sand can completely suck in up to your ankles, I am worried about the rhinestones from my pedicure from last week. I'm thinkin, 'If these things stay on through this, that dude must have put them on with crazy glue, and they can go through anything!" Well they made it out alive and Shane is still amazed at how the sand just suckes you under, and he's almost convinced that it's quick sand. While he's into all that sand, he notices this surfer dude walk up and I see the dude go very quickly across the inlet on his surf board to the other side. Shane goes, "Whoah, how'd he get over there so fast". Im like, "He has a surf board". He then goes, "Dude, Awesome I gotta try that". Ok, so he gets his BOOGIE BOARD....gets a running start, and jumps head first into the water....and instantly SINKS.....EPIC FAIL! I'm like, "Didn't see that coming".. and wondering how much money I coulda just made if I had submitted a video of that to the show Ridiculousness!
-We walk back to the room, and get in the elevator. There are 2 teenage girls, Shane first tells them a floor we wanted that wasn't even a choice, and it drastically confused these girls. Then one girl says, "yeah, the elevators are WACK on Sundays"....and we all look at each other like, "oookkkaaayyy" and LOL when we get off! Later on in the same elevator, Shane puts his hand up to a light and burns his skin...
Adventure 5.5: Not So Lazy River
Yeah, so I decide I'm getting in the lazy river, and so does Shane. I am the normal one, so I get into my raft like normal. Haleigh is swimming around us like a fish. Shane keeps jumping into his raft, and every time he does, his trunks fall down so he's obviously pulling them back up so I won't see the moon. I'm laughing like a moron, when I notice these ladies, 4 of them, old-ish staring and laughing at us. Shane is now attempting to get into a kid raft, the smaller ones only your right leg will fit into. Ok, so he's jumping up trying to get on, and every time he does, he keeps flipping over backwards. I'm thinking, "It hasn't worked the first time...the second time...or the third...just give up already" so he does! I'm still laughing like a complete idiot and the ladies are getting free entertainment for sure!
Adventure #6: It's Spelled H-A-Y-A-B-U-S-A
We all decide to go out on the town, to do some shopping. Sports bikes are everywhere! Shane's going crazy, cuz he's like, "Daang, look at that HybusTa!!" I'm more worried about the say he's saying the bike's name and I'm like, "Are you sure it has a T in it?" So, I google it! Sure enough, it's spelled, Hayabusa. Ok, so the streets are blocked off because of all the bikes and we're like taking major detours, the security is everywhere, and we are really admiring the neon in the spokes of the bikes. Haleigh and I are in the back seat, laughing at everything! We go to two beach shops, I'm in the teacher mindset, and I find skirts for $5.99 that are totally cute, and I can wear to school and church! We then leave and go to WalMart because we have been instructed by my aunt Sandy to do so. Therefore, I get another watermelon, and Brandi insists that I go through the self check out, which turned into another adventure when I had no clue what to do! On the way back we find these bikes that are pretty legit at a gas station, so we circle through the gas station to check em out, and make a complete circle around the security and everything, which was hilarious! When we get back we have to park b/t two walls, which was also quite interesting to watch Shane back into.
Adventure #7: Zapping Crabs with Laser Beams
We finally convince one another that we want to go crab hunting so the Motley Crew (aka us) heads down stairs...but before we do, we plant a hidden walkie talkie next to my aunt, who is about to go to sleep. Once we're in the parking deck to get the flashlights, we radio the planted walkie talkie by making creepy noises. I even get on there and say, "Helloooo, my name is Scout Skinnyjeans", and she's like "Skinnyjeans???" Ok, so now we're walking out on the beach in search for crabs, but before that my cuz has to test his laser beam strength on building 1/2 mile away, and it worked!!! So there we were, searching for crabs with laser beams and high intensity flashlights. We found some, dug them up, and watched them dig back down. Wonderful way to end the day!!
Monday:
Ok, so my plan to get up early and go running out on the beach was non existent. I had this whole plan to get up before the crack of dawn, run, enjoy the fresh morning breeze........LIES! This chick didn't get up before 9am, and I had to wait for the other crew members to get up before starting off the day! Once everyone was awake and fed, I put my ipod on this song called "The Sound of Sunshine" from Soul Surfer, perfect beach song. I tried to get Haleigh to dance with me but that wasn't happening. Finally we went out on the beach....
Adventure #8: Banana Boat Experience of a Lifetime
Well we all decided to go on the Banana Boat which I was kinda pressured into. However, we have no money with us, so I am left out on the beach alone while the rest of the gang goes back and gets money. In the mean time, I am running out of water...and they finally come back. Well by this time, I'm feeling dehydrated, which is not good if you are going out into the mid-day sun in the Middle. Of. The. Ocean. Nevertheless, I use safety first and put my life jacket on. Thankfully take my new Oakley sunglasses off and get on the boat. The boat in case you were wondering is where you get on and simply hold on to a rope type handle. That's it!! So we're out in the middle of the ocean, and Shane's right behind me, and a very scared little girl is right beside me. I kept thinking, "What's gona happen if I fly off this thing". We also passed about 1,249 massive jellyfish. The saltwater is getting into my eyes bad, I'm sitting there yelling, "I can't see, I can't see" and so Shane lets go of his handle, and about pokes his sunglasses (that he daringly wore) in my eyes. It makes the salt water impact a little better. Meanwhile, our ride is almost over and we are now heading back to shore. However, we are still in the part of the ocean that is extremely blue aka the deepest part, and I'm thinking, "I got this, we haven't flipped out yet, we're not going to now". I was WRONG! About that time, I am flying in mid air and land in the middle of the ocean. HOWEVER everything is UNDER CONTROL...because I hear the sound of my cousins voice right behind me saying, "It's ok Ashley, I'm here too". I know, LOL. So then I ask the jet ski dude if I can hitch a ride with him. He doesn't let me, but I finally get pulled back on top of that massive boat, and just chill for a sec, cuz of the epic swim I just took in the ocean. We made it back in and I felt like I had accomplished one of my biggest fears...swimming in water I can't see in. I would go back again any time! I also got a pik with the dude that threw me off the boat and helped me conquer that fear.
Adventure #9: Ridiculousness
Well, after I conquered my fear, I felt like I could conquer the world so I went back to our condo and ate lunch. Not just any lunch, like a HUGE lunch! Well...Shane had to introduce me to one of his favorite shows...Ridiculousness. I fell in love immediately. We watched that for like an hour and went to the beach one last time.
Adventure #10: Mark is Here
There was literally a guy that looked like my uncle Mark. One day, my crazy aunt went up to him and ask if we could take a picture of him. I literally looked at her like, "are you crazy?" Turns out the guy is an officer in the Army at Ft. Drum
Adventure #10.5 Dudes that IDK
On the way home, I was so tired so I took a nap. You know the kind that once you take it, you will be up the rest of the night kinda nap. Well anyway, I woke up and we stopped at this gas station. Well on the way pulling out, these dudes on the back of a truck started waving at us...I was like "who on Earth is that?" and so we rode behind them for quite a while unfortunately.
Anyways, we had a time of epic proportion...and I would gladly go back again with those crazy individuals.
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